Day 38: Be kind...to yourself

What’s your inner self talk like? Do you tear strips off yourself or are you your biggest fan?

I know I’m very quick to refer to myself as “stupid” or an “idiot” when I make a mistake, do something accidentally around the house or forget something. I wouldn’t dream of saying that to anyone else! So why do I do it to me? I am also a bit of a worrier so I spend a lot of my self talk being concerned about things, running possible future issues through my mind or looking for risks to be aware of.

So with this in mind, Scott Trurow’s quote becomes all the more powerful: 

“Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves and believe?”

What this says to me is I am what I chose to believe I am and the words with which I describe myself and the stories on which I focus are the foundations of who and what I become.

Connected to this is the concept of mantra. One definition from The Oxford Dictionary is “a statement of slogan that is repeated frequently.” Mantras can be used to embed or manifest information, so we become what we repeatedly tell ourselves we will become. Some people create personal mantras, which according to destinyodyssey.com is “an affirmation to motivate and inspire you to be your best self.... Its purpose is to provide motivation and encouragement to you when you need to focus your mind to achieve a goal.” 

The relationship we each have with ourselves is the deepest of all relationships that we have. The majority of conversations we have in our lives are in our heads, with ourselves!

So what do you say to yourself? Do you support yourself and buoy yourself up, put yourself down and convince yourself that things are terrible or perhaps you limit yourself and put obstacles in your own way? 

We can’t control the comments of others but we can control our own. The chats we have with ourselves are often the harshest and the most limiting words that we hear. And sadly, all too frequently we choose to believe them.

Have you stopped to consider how you talk to yourself? It could be interesting to reflect upon your words and style. Would you speak like that to a friend or loved one? How would you feel if you overheard someone speaking in the same way to someone else? Perhaps you might create your own personal mantra you repeat to yourself each morning to get yourself in a positive frame of mind? I’m going to give it a go and see how it affects me, my beliefs about myself and what I do.

What do you say to yourself when nobody’s listening?

What do you say to yourself when nobody’s listening?